Have I got man boobs or sexy pecs?

A funny thing happens on my way to a healthy weight. Prior to starting a weight loss challenge I avoid looking in the mirror. I know I'm overweight but if I don't think about it then I can kid myself it doesn't exist (even though my weight keeps following me around making it difficult for me to get into my trousers).

Then when I start to try and lose weight something different happens. I mentioned this in my post last week about losing the will to lose weight:

"What happens when I start to try and lose weight is that I become very body conscious and so I keep looking at my body and going "Oh my God. I've been dieting for like nearly two hours now and NOTHING has changed it's SOOOOOOO UNFAIR"."

But then my positive voice kicks in, to help me keep going. I pull in my stomach, throw back my shoulders, puff out my chest to embody my proudest masculine stance and I focus on on the part of my body that I love the most.......my sexy pecs!

I look at my chest and think "hey, you've got a damn fine pair of pecs there Mr Poole, stick a bit of fake tan on them and wax off those hairs and you could be a cover boy for Men's Health magazine next month". And this illusion (for it is a mere mirage dear reader) keeps me going with my healthy eating regime because while the scales say I'm overweight, the man in the mirror says I've got sexy pecs!

BUT THEN TRAGEDY STRIKES!

Having persevered for a few days or weeks even, with the help of my delusions of pectoral grandeur something terrible happens............I actually start to lose weight. But surely that's good news? NO! Because the first place I lose weight is off my flipping chest! 

Is it possible I have lost muscle mass by eating healthily? No! There was no muscle there in the first place because they weren't sexy pecs after all they were man boobs! Damn! 

And to make matters worse, I now have a disproportionate amount of flab on my chest and belly. So before, I thought I was "chunky" all over and looked like a man with sexy pecs who needed to tone up his belly a bit. NOW I think I look like an obese version of a starving Biafran child, with a great big belly and a hollow pigeon chest.

Now I have to go through the deeply emotional process and let go of the fantasy that I had sexy pecs (and cancel my appointments with the picture editor at Men's Health magazine and the local sun bed centre and waxing salon) 

And rather than reaching for the chocolate biscuits for consolation, it's time to convince myself that rather than mourning the loss of my pecs, I should be celebrating the loss of my man boobs! 

DAY ELEVEN NOTES

WEIGHT: 14 stone 5lb (healthy range 9 stone 7lb to 12 stone 12lb)

WAIST: 35-38 inches/94-99 cms (depends if I'm breathing in or out) 

BMI: 28 (healthy range 18.5 to 25) 

ACTION: Walked and ran 4-5 miles,  drank lots of water, stayed off the biscuits, snack on fruit and the one remaining healthy flapjack 

Next: Not yet known

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