Masculinity vs Femininity: 10 ways to understand the difference

What do we mean by masculinity and femininity? 

Although I am deeply interested in men's issues I have tended to steer away from conversations about masculinity as in the world of "gender issues" it seems that masculinity is pathologized and blamed for all of the world's ills.

However, in terms of understanding ourselves and others, considering the masculine and feminine nature of humanity has a great deal to offer. So to help me (and anyone else who wants to take on the "feminine quality" of being helped to apply some "masculine" rationality to the subject.........here's a list of 10 different ways of looking at masculinity/femininity to help you think (macsuline) and feel (feminine) more deeply about this important subject. 

1. Empathizing-systemizing theory

In his 2003 book The Essential Difference, Simon Baron Cohen proposed that while both men and women are capable of both empathizing and systemizing the male brain is programmed to systemize and the female brain to empathize.Therefore we could say that empathizing is a feminine quality and  systemizing is a masculine quality.

For more information see: Simon Baron Cohen interview with Guardian TV

2. Yin and Yang

In Eastern philosophy, Yin and Yang represent two universal polarities. Yin is said to be the feminine or feeling part of the self. Yang is said to be our masculine aspect, the mind, which thinks, and then promotes the acts of doing.

For more information see: The Feminine and Masculine aspects of self by Scott Clark Woolley

3. Agency and Communion/Eros and Agape

From an integral perspective, there are four drivers of change and transformation--- eros, agency, communion an agape. The first two are considered to be more masculine ways of developing while communion an agape are more feminine.

For more information see: Ken Wilber - Eros and Agency in Masculinity

4. Men are from Mars women are from Venus

It is claimed that John Gray’s 1992 self-help classic has transformed millions of relationships by helping “men and women realise how different they really are”. One of the key concepts in the book is that “men are motivated when they feel needed while women are motivated when they feel cherished.”

For more information see: Mars and Venus website

5. Internal v External

According to Michael D. Stewart “many scholars have forwarded the idea that there are masculine and feminine realms that can be divided into exterior and interior.  The exterior, consisting of politics, economics and science are masculine.  The interior, consisting of the home, culture and love are feminine.”

An example of this is the Adam and Eve story where it is said that the creation of Eve from Adam’s rib “is teaching us a principle in understanding the nature of masculine and feminine strengths, namely that feminine manifestation and strength is more internal, while the masculine focus and expression is more external.”

For more information see: Men & Women A Jewish View on Gender Differences

6. Men Report and Women Rapport

In her 1990 book You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, Deborah Tannen proposed from an early age boys and girls learn different "genderlects". Tannen highlights a masculine preference for independence and status and a feminine preference for connection and intimacy. In terms of conversational style, women tend to “rapport” while men tend to “report”, according to Tannen.

For more information see: Deborah Tannen’s website

7. Jungian archetypes of Masculine and Feminine 

In his 1992 book Masculine and Feminine: The Natural Flow of Opposites in the Psyche, Gareth S. Hill provided a modern take on Carl Jung’s masculine and feminine archetypes that are found in our collective conscience and our individual psyches. These archetypes found in various myths or systems, from Greek Mythology to Tarot cards. According to Hill, these masculine and feminine energies are both found in the psyches of  men and women. The energies are said to have four main patterns: the Static Feminine, the Dynamic Masculine, the Static Masculine and the Dynamic Feminine.

For more information see: Gender lens, the play of the dynamic static and masculine and feminine in the psyche

8. Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine

Fans of various “new age” practices often refer to the divine feminine and divine masculine, often drawing on a mix of Jungian archetypes, concepts of yin and yang and imagery from   Eastern religions such as the Hinduism that gives us The Great Divine Mother, Shakti and the Great God, Shiva. As with Jungian archetypes, the divine masculine and feminine are said to found within us and are perfectly balance in our higher selves.

For more information see: balancing the masculine and feminine energies

9. Masculine Rights and Feminine Morality

Morality is sometimes described as a feminine construct as morals are created internal, require empathy and putting others rights and needs first. The laws that enforce our moral rights are seen as masculine as they are external, rational and systemic. One way of viewing this is that our masculine side is about strength and asserting our own rights while our feminine side is about goodness and considering others rights. Neither side is more important as both need to be in balance to create a healthy individual and a healthy society.

For more information see: the masculine and feminine side

10. Masculine and Feminine: the MindBody connection

Most of us will have heard the left brain and right brain being described as male and female, masculine and feminine. The left-side of our brain is said to be systemic, logical and masculine while the right-side is said to be empathic, emotional and feminine. This thinking is also extended to our bodies which are controlled by opposite sides of our brains and so our right side is said to be masculine and our left side is said to be feminine.

According to Debbie Shapiro in Your Body Speaks Your Mind:

“The right side of the body represents the masculine principle in both men and women. It is to do with the ability to give and to be dominant or assertive; it is the authoritative and intellectual part of our being…the left side of the body represents the feminine principle in both men and women. It indicates the ability to ask for help, to receive, or to surrender; to nourish and care for others; to be tender and caring; to be creative and artistic; to listen to and trust our own wisdom.”

For more information see: the mindbody connection left and right 

Image from: Alien in the Caribbean

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