One of my favourite descriptions of masculinity is Martin Seager's Three Ancient Rules of Masculinity which suggests than men are driven by a need:
- To protect and provide
- To fight and win
- To retain mastery and control
This model helps me understand how my own masculinity can work against me when trying to lose weight.
Firstly, the idea of a protector and provider being on a diet doesn't fit somehow, so I have tended to focus on "manly" exercising to lose weight rather than dieting---counting calories is definitely for losers!
Secondly, as I'm driven by an imperative to fight and win and I'm definitely not a loser, I tend to avoid the fights I know I can't win and so knowing that I often lose my fight with weight loss, I simply don't enter the fight.
Thirdly, I clearly don't have mastery and control in the world of weight loss, so again it's an issue that challenges my masculinity and so I tend to avoid confronting it.
Now at this point our perceived postmodern wisdom tells us to respond by saying things like "typical man", "male pride", "fragile male ego" and wonder how we can fix men by deconstructing their masculinity. An alternative "macho" response may be to say things like "man up", "grow a pair", be a "real man" and and so on.
And from my experience of working with men, neither of these approaches tend to work. What makes a difference, I've found, is working with men's good intentions and playing to their strengths.
As most men are consciously or unconsciously driven--at least in part---by a masculine imperative to protect and provide, to fight and to win and to have mastery and control, then we can use those drives to help men fulfill on their good intentions.
My good intention in losing weight is to live a long, happy, healthy life. So how can I use the ancient rules of masculinity to help me with this goal?
Well, when I lose weight I will at some level feel more able to protect and provide (even if it's only protecting myself from poor health and providing myself with a better chance of living longer); I will also have fought to lose weight and won and I may also, in the process, gain some mastery and control in the area of maintaining a healthy weight.
This being the case, maybe my masculinity will help me rather than hinder me in my weight loss challenge.
NB: Men and women can both draw on masculine and feminine qualities. For more on this see my pos Masculinity vs Feminity: 10 ways to understand the difference.
As most men are consciously or unconsciously driven--at least in part---by a masculine imperative to protect and provide, to fight and to win and to have mastery and control, then we can use those drives to help men fulfill on their good intentions.
My good intention in losing weight is to live a long, happy, healthy life. So how can I use the ancient rules of masculinity to help me with this goal?
Well, when I lose weight I will at some level feel more able to protect and provide (even if it's only protecting myself from poor health and providing myself with a better chance of living longer); I will also have fought to lose weight and won and I may also, in the process, gain some mastery and control in the area of maintaining a healthy weight.
This being the case, maybe my masculinity will help me rather than hinder me in my weight loss challenge.
NB: Men and women can both draw on masculine and feminine qualities. For more on this see my pos Masculinity vs Feminity: 10 ways to understand the difference.
DAY EIGHT NOTES
WEIGHT: 14 stone 7lb (healthy range 9 stone 7lb to 12 stone 12lb)
WAIST: 36-39 inches/94-99 cms (depends if I'm breathing in or out)
BMI: 28.3 (healthy range 18.5 to 25)
ACTION: Walked 3 hilly miles, did a little yoga, drank lots of water, stayed off the biscuits, snacked on fruit and seeds
Tomorrow: Why real men are overweight
No comments:
Post a Comment